Week 2

You never know where inspiration will come from. I was driving home from work the other day enjoying Howard Stern on the radio.

In politically correct times, it is refreshing to hear someone say what they are truly feeling without a filter. I don’t agree with everything he says or does. At the same time, those who are quick to judge, more likely than not, have never listened.

I saw someone criticizing Stern for his misogynist nature on Facebook. The next day the same person’s Facebook showed a video they had just watched of girls flashing passing motorists. Don’t throw stones. His views are very nuanced. For the most part, people just need to chill.

Anyways. He said, “Sometimes you just have to move the f**k on.” Yes.

I think the key to success in any habit change is to build some momentum. If you can get past whatever it is that has got you spinning your wheels, you can keep it rolling. Backwards: no good. Stationary: no good. Getting it moving, no matter how slowly, is the key.

I feel like I have it moving in the right direction. The ball is rolling slowly but it is rolling. I don’t think ignoring or forgetting what put in the rut is good thing either. Own it and put it in your back pocket because you may need it. You may need it to remind you why you are passing on that Frosty.

Start of Operation 360

On July 1, 2011 I started Operation 180. I attempted to get down to 180 lbs in 180 days. I managed to lose 70 lbs in those six months, missing my goal by ten pounds. I felt awesome and swore that I would never weigh more than 200 lbs ever again.

With two weeks left in Operation 180, I found out that my mom’s cancer had returned and that she had less than a year to live. She passed away in October. Cancer is a real fucker. I have never been a big believer in excuses but it really affected me in a profound way.

She was a mighty woman and to watch her be robbed of that really messed me up. When you have to take care of the person who took care of you, well, it is not right. She is gone and I miss her. My dad won’t change the answering machine message. Sometimes I call the house when I know he is at work.

Here is the kicker. I don’t drink much. I was never a drug guy. I turned to food in the moments where the stress got to me.

Once the weight started to come back, I felt powerless to stop it. I knew what was happening but couldn’t pull myself out of it. Countless starts and stops. The more you put on, the less motivated you are. It is a paradox because the opposite should be true.

It becomes a mental game. It became less and less about my mom and more and more about losing the health and vitality that I had gained during my initial weight loss. I had my life back but I let it slip like a cliche yo-yo dieter.

This brings me to now. I need to make a change again. I am down to two pairs of pants.

I am calling this Operation 360. I am trying to get down to 180 lbs in 180 days again. I will be weighing in weekly and posting a picture of the scale as my Facebook profile picture. It worked before and I am hoping that it works again.

I need it to work again.

Observation #18 Austerity Sucks

Losing weight was hard but there was an euphoria attached to it. There was a high. When I stepped on that scale and it was down, damn, it felt good. Real good. I don’t feel the same way about saving money. Where is the juice? Where is the high? Hey, I saved 50 cents on yogurt. It is not as cache as I hoped it would. The buzz off a “two for one” Happy Meal at McDs has left me empty.

Is this Operation 180 a lost cause? Well, I have paid off almost three grand on my line of credit. Has it charged my life force? My life force? That is some Deepak Chopra shit. The answer is no. It has not changed me at all. The focus on saving is doing nothing for me. 

Let’s state the obvious. I am not going to be able to pay off the whole 10 grand in the 180 days. Is it moving in the right direction? Sure. Have I been making it rain? No.

My little mission to get out of the hole is a microcosm for the current approach to the global economic crisis. The solution. Instead of generating revenue, governments have decided to spend less. The result. Pissed off people.

If you feed someone Twinkies all their life and then tell that person they are eating nothing but spinach, you are going to have one angry person. Where are my Twinkies? Trust me I’ve been through it. Take Greece as an example. They spend and spend and spend. They add the Olympics to their responsibilities. Someone wakes up and figures it out. Shit. We are spending money we don’t have. People want us to pay up our debts. We have to cut back. When the people don’t know any different it is like yanking that Twinkie right of their mouths. 

The issue with austerity measures is that they are not sexy. It does nothing to inspire. Taking away vs. adding. This is the issue I am having with my approach. If I was making new money instead of limiting my spending, I would be excited to continue. This is the problem government is having. It is telling the people that they have to deal with less without inspiring them to make more. To innovate. To create. The problem is compounded when there is government waste. Every time a politician takes a military helicopter to a fishing resort or orders a fifty dollar glass of orange juice, it undermines the sacrifice. 

Eliminate the waste. The People will make haste. 

Get rid of the trash. The People will make the cash.

I was just spitballing some T-shirt ideas. Hey, maybe this is my money making idea. My own stimulus.

Do you think a government being more frugal is the best approach? Do you think stimulus is the best approach? Combination?

Observation #17: Can you buy happiness?

I recently watched a TED video about the feeling that spending money gives people. They basically said that when people spend money on others they feel much better than when they spend it on themselves. This raises an interesting question: Is there a difference between giving money away to people you know (gifts) versus giving money to strangers? 

I run into people all the time who say, “My wife and I don’t exchange gifts.” For me, buying someone something they weren’t expecting is awesome. It’s like, I know what this person really wants. I am in tune with this person. Seeing my mom cry when my dad bought her an iPad was awesome. 

Would my dad have felt the same way if he had bought himself an iPad? Definitely not. I mean my father still calls the internet “The Dubya Dubya Dubya.” IPad or not, he loves to see my mom happy.

Charity. I try to give when I can. I feel like I do it more out of guilt than anything else. When you are at Wal-mart at the cashier and they say “Do you care to donate a dollar to...?” Well of course I do. What would the people behind me in line think if I didn’t say yes? Do I feel good about it? Not really. Guilt is not virtuous.

The skepticism that surrounds charity has become so pervasive. Where does my money actually go? Administration. CEOs. Warlords. If one penny goes to someone who needs it isn’t that two more pennies than they would have had? It is the faceless part of charity that makes it difficult. I think due diligence is necessary. Research the charity you are giving to. Let’s level with each other. Who has that type of time? When doing good, blind faith may be enough and it may have to be enough. We can’t let these worries prevent us from helping others.

I think it is easier to give money or gifts to the people around you because the response is immediate and you witness the impact it has. I will agree with all the anti-consumerists out there that say that a kind word or time spent with a loved one is worth more than any gift. “Valentine’s Day is a holiday created to sell chocolates and cards or Christmas has become so commercialized.” Bah humbug! Anti-consumerist is latin for cheap son of a bitch. That may be a little extreme. Making people feel good should be paramount. Happiness is contagious. Make someone happy.


Can money buy happiness? Do you give to charity? Do you exchange gifts?

Observation #16 Are You Worth Your Salary?

As I watch the NBA playoffs, I am reminded of how short and uncoordinated I am. If I played one-on-one against any NBA player, I bet I could score two baskets. The ole “your shoe lace is untied” trick. I’m not above that. Maybe a kick to the shin. Not above that either. The real thing that I am reminded of is how often people say “Athletes make too much money.”

Kobe. The Black Mamba. Five rings. Probably not someone who grabs beers with the guys after work but easily the best player of his generation. “Hello, I’m right here,” says Tim Duncan. Right about now, a bunch of the ladies are like, “Pinterest, needs some pinning.” or secretly, “I’ve got two Fifty Shades of Grey sequels to read.” Anywho. Kobe makes 25.2 million dollars a season minus endorsements. Snap. 

Is he worth it?

Hell yeah.  The Los Angeles Lakers make over $200 million dollars a year without merchandise. The money that Kobe Bryant generates for others is huge. What about the people that are employed because Kobe can put the ball in the basket and asses in the seats? The people who work at the arena in Los Angeles. The people who work in the arenas around the league. The parking attendants. The media that cover him. The people who manufacture and sell his jersey. The impact is huge. Not even scratching the surface.

A Marxist would say Kobe should be making more money. Why should others benefit so much from Bryant’s labour? 

Do doctors make too much money? Someone who can save my life is invaluable. Following that logic, a personal trainer should make just as much. What about an actor? What value do you put on entertainment and how much a smile or a tear means to society? A garbage man. How much does driving down a street without mountains of garbage stinking it up worth to you? Is Zuckerberg worth billions?

It really is an interesting question. I really believe in the interconnectedness of everything. All jobs are valuable even though they are not compensated equally.

Do you think athletes make too much money? Should a garbage man make the same as a doctor?

Observation #15 Extreme Couponing

Planking. Tebowing. I’ve never done either. To be honest, I never will. Not because I can’t physically get back up off the floor, but I missed the trend. One “ing” I am trying to get on board with is couponing.

People who coupon are a unique group. They are a dichotomy. In one sense, they love to co-opt others. Turning others on to couponing. Referring others to websites with the best deals. Giving tips. Stoking the flames of savings. Whipping those in the trenches into a frenzy with the potential of keeping money in their pockets. In another sense, couponers are highly competitive. “I saved X amount of money.” The braggadocio. In your face. They may not acknowledge it but they want to save more than the next couponer.

I have been co-opted by the idea but the reality of couponing has confounded me in two ways:

Firstly, I don’t think I can hand the coupons over. It is a real public thing. Maybe I’m too sensitive. What will people think of me if I hand over a bunch of coupons? “Isn’t he a teacher? Why does he need to be clipping coupons?” I am conscious of the perception that teachers are cheap. What is the difference between teachers and canoes? Canoes tip. The other thing is that I like to keep a checkout line moving.  I would feel bad for the people behind me. I guess I just have a deep-seated need to be loved by everyone, including the guy holding the pound of bacon behind me.

Secondly, couponing might cost me more money than I would have normally spent. You may get an awesome coupon for something you wouldn’t normally buy. You may save on that product but overall you lose. Oh great, a dollar off cheese slices. I’ve got a half a pack of cheese slices in the fridge already. Waste.

I watched a show called “Extreme Couponing”. What a gong show. In some instances, the couponers were so proficient the grocery stores were paying them money at the end. Couponing was their lives. Everyone has a calling I guess. The thing is these people were buying things they didn’t need. Plus they had to buy huge quantities in order to maximize the savings. One lady bought over a hundred bottles of barbeque sauce. Now if she donated the sauce she couldn’t use to a food bank I would be on board. A modern day Robin Hood. Instead she had a basement full of food. Next week she was on Hoarders.

I am trying not to be judgemental. I think the only way I could get on board is if I developed some kind of system. If you could make a grocery list then seek out coupons, it might just work. You wouldn’t be buying stuff you don’t need. Then I would do my groceries at 2am so no one would see me do it.

Do you have a system that works? Are you an extreme couponer? Is it worth the time you commit to it?

Observation #14 Self-Made Millionaire

I was a watching television the other day. It might have been Judge Judy. (You can’t always be watching Downton Abbey and Charlie Rose) Someone described himself a self-made millionaire. This made me mad. What exactly is a “self-made” millionaire?

Do you live in a bubble? (Moop) Are you completely isolated? Were you raised by wolves in a cave with no contact with any human, suckling from the teats like Remus and Romulas? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you can legitimately claim the status of “self-made” millionaire. This guy can sorta claim to be self-made:

Even the man living off of garbage in a cave is still reliant on others for his livelihood. People have to throw stuff out for that guy to eat. Every successful person relies on others. They are not self-made. The education system. The healthcare system. Infrastructure. Police and firefighters. Without these things you won’t be successful. That’s why the term “self-made” millionaire makes me mad.

Some people have better opportunities. Some people have to overcome obstacles to be successful. The illusion that people do that on their own is a fallacy. I don’t want sound too political but the better the system, the greater the chance at success.

Don’t get me wrong. To be successful you have to take advantage of the opportunities that present themselves. That is where the individualism comes in. Working with what you are given.

It is our system. We pay for it. I hate paying for taxes just as much as the next guy. When politicians are charging 16 bucks for a glass of orange juice, I get pissed. For all the waste, I believe that the society that I have helped build and continue to build has given my kids a great chance to be successful. They won’t be self made millionaires. They will be society made millionaires that will take care of their daddy in his old age.