On July 1, 2011 I started Operation 180. I attempted to get down to 180 lbs in 180 days. I managed to lose 70 lbs in those six months, missing my goal by ten pounds. I felt awesome and swore that I would never weigh more than 200 lbs ever again.
With two weeks left in Operation 180, I found out that my mom’s cancer had returned and that she had less than a year to live. She passed away in October. Cancer is a real fucker. I have never been a big believer in excuses but it really affected me in a profound way.
She was a mighty woman and to watch her be robbed of that really messed me up. When you have to take care of the person who took care of you, well, it is not right. She is gone and I miss her. My dad won’t change the answering machine message. Sometimes I call the house when I know he is at work.
Here is the kicker. I don’t drink much. I was never a drug guy. I turned to food in the moments where the stress got to me.
Once the weight started to come back, I felt powerless to stop it. I knew what was happening but couldn’t pull myself out of it. Countless starts and stops. The more you put on, the less motivated you are. It is a paradox because the opposite should be true.
It becomes a mental game. It became less and less about my mom and more and more about losing the health and vitality that I had gained during my initial weight loss. I had my life back but I let it slip like a cliche yo-yo dieter.
This brings me to now. I need to make a change again. I am down to two pairs of pants.
I am calling this Operation 360. I am trying to get down to 180 lbs in 180 days again. I will be weighing in weekly and posting a picture of the scale as my Facebook profile picture. It worked before and I am hoping that it works again.
I need it to work again.
