Week 2

You never know where inspiration will come from. I was driving home from work the other day enjoying Howard Stern on the radio.

In politically correct times, it is refreshing to hear someone say what they are truly feeling without a filter. I don’t agree with everything he says or does. At the same time, those who are quick to judge, more likely than not, have never listened.

I saw someone criticizing Stern for his misogynist nature on Facebook. The next day the same person’s Facebook showed a video they had just watched of girls flashing passing motorists. Don’t throw stones. His views are very nuanced. For the most part, people just need to chill.

Anyways. He said, “Sometimes you just have to move the f**k on.” Yes.

I think the key to success in any habit change is to build some momentum. If you can get past whatever it is that has got you spinning your wheels, you can keep it rolling. Backwards: no good. Stationary: no good. Getting it moving, no matter how slowly, is the key.

I feel like I have it moving in the right direction. The ball is rolling slowly but it is rolling. I don’t think ignoring or forgetting what put in the rut is good thing either. Own it and put it in your back pocket because you may need it. You may need it to remind you why you are passing on that Frosty.

Start of Operation 360

On July 1, 2011 I started Operation 180. I attempted to get down to 180 lbs in 180 days. I managed to lose 70 lbs in those six months, missing my goal by ten pounds. I felt awesome and swore that I would never weigh more than 200 lbs ever again.

With two weeks left in Operation 180, I found out that my mom’s cancer had returned and that she had less than a year to live. She passed away in October. Cancer is a real fucker. I have never been a big believer in excuses but it really affected me in a profound way.

She was a mighty woman and to watch her be robbed of that really messed me up. When you have to take care of the person who took care of you, well, it is not right. She is gone and I miss her. My dad won’t change the answering machine message. Sometimes I call the house when I know he is at work.

Here is the kicker. I don’t drink much. I was never a drug guy. I turned to food in the moments where the stress got to me.

Once the weight started to come back, I felt powerless to stop it. I knew what was happening but couldn’t pull myself out of it. Countless starts and stops. The more you put on, the less motivated you are. It is a paradox because the opposite should be true.

It becomes a mental game. It became less and less about my mom and more and more about losing the health and vitality that I had gained during my initial weight loss. I had my life back but I let it slip like a cliche yo-yo dieter.

This brings me to now. I need to make a change again. I am down to two pairs of pants.

I am calling this Operation 360. I am trying to get down to 180 lbs in 180 days again. I will be weighing in weekly and posting a picture of the scale as my Facebook profile picture. It worked before and I am hoping that it works again.

I need it to work again.