I remember being 180 pounds. It is strange how you can remember those sorts of things. I don’t think that people who are fit, think in this manner. When your weight enters your consciousness, then your memories become more about what you looked like than what you were doing. Its never, “Look, its me in front of the Eiffel Tower.” Its more like “Damn, If I was a girl. I would definitely get with that dude”. Strange on a lot of levels. Instead of the place, I remember what I looked like. The other weird thing is that I sometimes see a picture and I think to myself, “Man, I wish I could look that good again.” When I know in my mind that when that picture was taken I wasn’t happy with the way I looked. Its a struggle. I will get to a point of weight unconsciousness. One day. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t obsess about these things. I don’t need an afterschool special to teach me to love myself. I do understand how some people take this type of behaviour too far. Its sad.
Remembering what it was like to be under 200 lbs, was a distant memory but a feeling that I had flirted with a couple of times in the last 10 years. It does seem like a beautiful threshold. It has magical properties. Seeing a 1 something on a scale can do wonders for a man. Its like Viagra for the soul. A bounce in your step. A hitch in your giddy up. You feel like like that guy skipping down the street after a little blue pill experience. When I saw it I was jacked up. I am not afraid to say that I was a little emotional. It represents a lot to me. It doesn’t validate me as a human being but it does remind me of the fight. The competition. My family. Seeing 180 will put me in a time machine. “1.21 gigawatts? 1.21 gigawatts? Great Scott!” I will travel back to my third year of university. It will hopefully change my perspective on that time. I can remember the people and the things that happened instead of much I weighed when I was there.
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