We are not islands. As much as we like to think that we are in control of our destinies, our actions and decisions are heavily influenced by the people that we surround yourselves with. I guess you control who is around you. There are many things you look for in a support system. Loyalty. Sympathy. Empathy. Honesty. Well maybe not too honest. The captain of your team is usually your spouse or partner or girl/boyfriend. The person you live with. The person who has the greatest impact on your day to day. One thing that you don’t really consider is whether or not that person is an enforcer or an enabler.
The enforcer cracks the whip. If you start down the path of health and wellness, they keep you on the straight and narrow. They often get on board and don’t allow those familar habits creep in. Sometimes you aspire to live like them. Once you voice that desire, they run with it. They were waiting. Most of the time it is out of genuine concern that the enforcer takes over. The enforcer doesn’t always follow the rules themselves but they make damn sure that you do. “Hey what happened to that bag of Sweet Chili Heat Doritos that was in the pantry?”
“You said you didn’t want to eat junk food anymore.”
“Damn.”
The enabler usually shows love in a different way. They want their partner to be happy. They make them whatever they want for dinner or suggest a favourite fast food option. They buy all the good snacks at the grocery store. They know how to fill the void or your mouth. “I made you a chocolate sundae.”
“I love you.”
I guess its a spectrum. I guess either extreme is good. Maybe a somewhere in the middle is best.
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